Growth Mindset is the powerful key that unlocks your ability to overcome disappointment, setback, and rejection. In my 7 years as an entrepreneur, one truth has become crystal clear: preparing for success and preparing for disappointment go hand in hand.

We talk a lot about winning—how to win, when to win, and the tools to win. Conferences are hosted. Podcasts are recorded. Books are written. But what happens when things don’t go according to plan? What do you do when you hit a wall called disappointment, or you’re knocked down by rejection or setback?

These negative, yet inevitable experiences—let’s call them the deadly trio—can derail your journey if you’re not equipped to face them. Fortunately, cultivating a growth mindset gives you the strength to keep going. It shifts your perspective, builds emotional resilience, and positions you to bounce back stronger.

Let’s explore three powerful mindset shifts that will help you overcome disappointment, setback, and rejection with intention and grace.

Growth Mindset #1: There’s Growth in the Grit

Every disappointment, setback, and rejection is packed with potential if you’re willing to see it.

In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck explains that a growth mindset helps you interpret challenges as opportunities. Rather than shrinking from adversity, this mindset leans in and learns. You start to see the deadly trio not as stop signs, but as stepping stones.

Consider this: Gold is often buried beneath dirt. You have to dig to get it. Similarly, a growth mindset gives you the courage to dig through emotional pain to find the hidden lesson. It doesn’t deny the disappointment—it just refuses to let it define you.

Conversely, a fixed mindset keeps you in a state of paralysis. It fuels blame and shame, whether directed at yourself or others. While the growth mindset asks “what now?”, a fixed mindset says “why bother?”

Growth Mindset #2: Trade “Why Me?” for “How Can I?”

Over the holidays, I was chatting with a friend about starting this blog. I confessed I was overwhelmed. She gently reminded me of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her response to divine assignment. “Never ask ‘why me?’” she said. “Ask ‘how?’”

That hit me deeply.

When you’re faced with disappointment, rejection, or a discouraging setback, your brain searches for meaning. A fixed mindset asks “Why me?”—and spirals into self-pity. A growth mindset, however, reframes the moment and asks, “How can I grow from this?”

Try these questions:

• How can I learn from this disappointment in a way that leaves me better, not bitter?

• How can I use this setback as fuel to sharpen my skills or offerings?

• How can I view this rejection as redirection, not a personal attack?

These how-based questions flip the script. They pull you out of victim mode and into problem-solving mode. That’s what the growth mindset does—it empowers action, even in pain.

Growth Mindset #3: Self-Compassion is Your Secret Weapon

Most of us are kind to others but harsh with ourselves. Yet, self-compassion is exactly what you need when facing the deadly trio.

In her book The Power of Self-Compassion, Laurie Cameron outlines three phases that help us heal from emotional wounds:

1. Acknowledge your emotions. Don’t brush them off. Say things like “This disappointment hurts,” or “This rejection stings.” Give yourself permission to feel.

2. Recognize your humanity. You’re not alone in this. Literally say out loud: “I’m not the only one going through this.” It helps remove the toxic layer of isolation.

3. Ask yourself what you need. Not what you should do—but what you need. Maybe it’s a quiet moment. Maybe it’s lunch. Maybe it’s prayer. Choose something life-giving.

You are not alone

On January 17, 2020, I received a rejection email—my third one in a row for a business license application. I was devastated. I hosted a one-woman pity party all day.

The next day, I walked myself through the three phases above. I acknowledged the pain. I reminded myself that rejection wasn’t unique to me. Then I asked myself what I needed—and the answer was a nourishing lunch. That simple act of kindness to myself made a world of difference.

By the end of the day, I reapplied for the license a fourth time.

That’s the power of self-compassion. That’s the power of a growth mindset.

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